I was talking with a friend today about my passion for Harry Potter. She is reading the series through and hoping to finish for the first time and I have read them numerous times, as well as listened to the audio versions every time I have moved (essentially, every year). Because of this conversation, HP was on my mind.
As I was standing in the shower (a great place to think, by the way), I began to contemplate our society. I don't remember exactly what prompted these thoughts, but they tended toward the seemingly warring ideas of progress vs. traditionalism; specifically around technology and agriculture. These may have been on my mind because I am listening to Anna Karenina right now.
As my mind was grazing over the concepts and misconceptions of many, whether it is a person who thinks technology and the seeking after innovation should top all other concerts or the person who runs away from city life to start a hobby farm because they miss the older views of family life and community, I began to wonder what this world would look life perfected.
Hm... tricky.
What would it be like to have corporations behave humanly all the time? What would it be like if everyone were educated? What would it be like to have no fears of the unknown or prejudices? What would it be like if all people lived in community with all those around them? What would it be like if all systems actually worked as they were hoped to? What would it be like if machinery did not pollute? If agriculture didn't use chemicals? If there were no pests to kill? No wolves to destroy? No thieves to steal?
Essentially, what would Heaven be like?
Everyone thinks of the afterlife and the possibility of Heaven sometimes. It is a mystery, but some clues have been given: we will be with God, there will be constant light, there will be no more sorrow or tears or pain, there will be meaningful work, there will be homes, etc. Until now, I have not dwelt on the details of Heaven, although I have often begun a sentence with "wouldn't it be nice if in Heaven..." and I always say to people who I might never see again on this earth, "See you in Heaven." Today I thought about what Heaven could be. If it is perfect, then... well, that's a hard one, because no one here on Earth has ever experienced "perfect," "sinless."
I began thinking about people, the one thing we know will be in Heaven besides God. People, created in the image of God. People as creators themselves. People in all their different colors and languages and backgrounds. People from places in third world countries that seem to have "developed" little in hundreds of years. People in "developing" countries and those in the U.S. and Japan. What in the world would a community of these people together look like?
I began thinking about our work in Heaven. There are so many who live in cities here and who work in offices, so many executives and IT people- how do they fit into my vision of Heaven? Will there be perfected corporations? Will there be any work at all for them? I'd hate to say no, just like I would hate to tell a farmer that there will be no garden in Heaven to tend.
How does this fit in with Harry Potter? Well, as I was pondering the ideas of "old world" and "new" I began thinking of Jo Rowling and her amazing works. She created a world that was "modern" but still "old" to some. The wizarding world had existed along side the Muggle one for all of history, but they developed differently. Wizards never bothered with technology because they had magic- they didn't need electricity or parking meters or batteries. But they did not just stand still, either. They had trains and buses- but flew powder was more convenient and apparition even more so! They had "new" spells and potions and innovative gadgets like Dumbledore's Dilluminator (book 7) aka Put-outer (book 1). Jo somehow fused the ideas of standing still and moving forward- something that our generation is having a hard time with right now.
Currently, technology and city life, corporations and progress are being villainized by many as the sickness that is killing the earth. "Pollution is caused by progress!" "Desensitization to violence and war is caused by technology (TV, movies, video games, even guns, which are rather old to be called technology)!" "Communities are crumbling because of cities and even suburbs (I mean, who has a block party or even knows their neighbors anymore?)!" "Evil, evil!!" So they say.
But then, people have been running down the past, as well. So many people think that those who farm or live in the country are ignorant and uneducated; that all bigotry comes from rural areas; that chemical farming has been the real ruin of natural resources; that intelligence only lives in cities; that the slow way is always the wrong way because inefficiency is a waste of a resource, which has to be a sin!
So, who's right? We have people running from cities and starting hobby farms who think they must be right because they have seen the corruption of the city. But they take with them their high speed internet, cable TV, iPod, iPad, TiVo and college education. Then we have kids "escaping" the country- whether the farmer's son next door or the rebellious Mennonite or Amish kids. And they must be right because they are escaping the tyranny of the small minded and slow moving- the old fashioned ways of their parents and grandparents! And they bring their fresh eyes to the city and see its delights and its possibilities!
Neither of these seems right to me. I am a city girl who is old fashioned. I currently live in a city whose population is 209,000 (610,000 metro) and it is the smallest place I have ever lived. I crochet and sew, garden and preserve, cook bread from scratch weekly and dream of one day owning a heard of goats. But I don't want to run to the country because I think cities are evil or because I think country life is ideal. I don't think all corporations are evil, money-grubbing entities (although, some of the people in them may be) and I don't think that rural dwellers are ignorant or bigotous (although there are people like that everywhere). I want to move to experience a different way of life than I have had- and to learn new skills like cheese making and spinning. But wherever I end up in life will not be perfect, will not be easy, will not be home. Because this world is not my home.
But what does my home look like? God is there. And people are there. The rest is a mystery. I'd love to see a good fantasy author like Jo try to tackle that one, though! Think of the possibilities! Maybe I'll try it myself...
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, March 21, 2011
Baby on Board
Well, it official- little Hamilton on the way. Actually, there will be two this year, as my sister-in-law is also pregnant. There will also be two VanderZand babies, as my sister is due the same month I am, just a few weeks before. This fall will be baby-tastic!
Eight weeks and counting. Each week I get an update from Baby Center about how big my baby is and what he/she is growing at the time. This week he/she is the size of a pinto bean and is growing hands and finger, feet and toes, eyelids and ears, nose and mouth. My husband has been using the food size equivalents as our baby's nickname for that week. Last week, he/she was chick pea, the week before, lentil. Next week, he/she will either be olive or bape (what our niece calls grapes).
Been noticing kids a lot more lately. We try to sit toward the back of church and I get to watch all the kids. Yesterday I laughed silently for about 5 min because little John, youngest son of the pastor (age 2) tried to steer little Ruthy (age 1, Burmese) back to her mother and she fell flat on her face. The funniest parts were the look of concern on John's face and the fact that Ruthy lay in the same position for about a minute without crying. I almost thought she was unconscious! Her mother picked her up and no one in the other sections was any the wiser. I think the pastor know what was up, though, because he saw me quaking with held in laughter while he was speaking seriously. I couldn't help it!
Eight weeks and counting. Each week I get an update from Baby Center about how big my baby is and what he/she is growing at the time. This week he/she is the size of a pinto bean and is growing hands and finger, feet and toes, eyelids and ears, nose and mouth. My husband has been using the food size equivalents as our baby's nickname for that week. Last week, he/she was chick pea, the week before, lentil. Next week, he/she will either be olive or bape (what our niece calls grapes).
Been noticing kids a lot more lately. We try to sit toward the back of church and I get to watch all the kids. Yesterday I laughed silently for about 5 min because little John, youngest son of the pastor (age 2) tried to steer little Ruthy (age 1, Burmese) back to her mother and she fell flat on her face. The funniest parts were the look of concern on John's face and the fact that Ruthy lay in the same position for about a minute without crying. I almost thought she was unconscious! Her mother picked her up and no one in the other sections was any the wiser. I think the pastor know what was up, though, because he saw me quaking with held in laughter while he was speaking seriously. I couldn't help it!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Life Without My Husband
Call me a sap, but I love my husband. We have been married for just over 18 months and I love him more and more every day. Right now, my husband is stuck in Chicago overnight because his train from Washington was delayed over 5 hours. He was supposed to get a connector to Michigan but now has to sleep in the station to catch a morning train to a town an hour from the one he needs. There is only one train per day to our hometown and it leaves at 5:20pm and often doesn't reach home until midnight or later. Poor Baby.
He left on Sunday at 4:30am after the train was 3 hours late. Needless to say, neither of us got much sleep over the weekend. So he has been gone two days and I miss him terribly. We have only been apart a few nights since we have been married and never more than 2 in a row.
I may seem pathetic, but I have reasons. We dated off and on for over 5 years. During that time, we lived in the same town for three months. That's it. Out of 5 years! Long distance relationships aren't for everyone. We handled ours rather well. In fact, it suited us most of the time. I was in school for three of those years and he was working on his post doc. Neither of us had much time for dating, which we don't care for anyway; but we did have time to send emails and for short visits. It was perfect... until we got engaged. Then the distance was just distance. Luckily, it was a short engagement (which will hopefully make for a long marriage!).
But now that we are married, I want to see him every day. I love that he makes me coffee every morning and brings it to me in bed. I love that he makes breakfast for me on the weekends and that he often will walk with me to work. He even visits me at work for lunch sometimes because I work just off of the campus where he teaches. It's wonderful. Whenever he comes home from work or an errand, I run to the door and say, "My husband's home!" Then I patiently wait for him to un-bundle and kiss me. He is very affectionate and I love that I can cheer him up even after a hard day.
We are traveling separately this holiday season. He has a month off but I could only get a few days. So, to save money he took the train early and won't return until after the new year while I am flying home Christmas Eve and returning a couple days later. It means 5 alone days on this side of Christmas and 10 on the other side. We'll even miss spending New Year's Eve together.
That's a funny story, too. He and I have been friends since we were 10. We met in Sunday School- best place to find guys, let me tell you! We became really close when he moved to Colorado for grad school. Once again, long distance enriched our friendship because we began to email weekly. My husband is not one for chit chat and often has a hard time with "in person" conversations unless they are subject driven. But he thrives online. He can write an email or even a letter like no one else. His emails were so funny that I used to print them out and read them to my best friend so we could both get a laugh.
Sometime during our college years, we began a tradition of getting together every New Year's Eve in the afternoon (so... New Year's pre-Eve) for lunch or a movie. We called them our New Year's Eve day dates. We had 7 of them in 8 years (one year I was dating someone who didn't want me to go. Understandably so.). They were fun and often flirty. We have only had one since and that was last year. All through our actual dating relationship, we spent New Year's Eve in separate cities. That will be true this year as well.
I was single until I was 35, so I know how to be alone. But I also appreciate my husband all the more because of all that single time. I hoping to spend many, many New Year's Eves with him... and hopefully, travel with him in future.
He left on Sunday at 4:30am after the train was 3 hours late. Needless to say, neither of us got much sleep over the weekend. So he has been gone two days and I miss him terribly. We have only been apart a few nights since we have been married and never more than 2 in a row.
I may seem pathetic, but I have reasons. We dated off and on for over 5 years. During that time, we lived in the same town for three months. That's it. Out of 5 years! Long distance relationships aren't for everyone. We handled ours rather well. In fact, it suited us most of the time. I was in school for three of those years and he was working on his post doc. Neither of us had much time for dating, which we don't care for anyway; but we did have time to send emails and for short visits. It was perfect... until we got engaged. Then the distance was just distance. Luckily, it was a short engagement (which will hopefully make for a long marriage!).
But now that we are married, I want to see him every day. I love that he makes me coffee every morning and brings it to me in bed. I love that he makes breakfast for me on the weekends and that he often will walk with me to work. He even visits me at work for lunch sometimes because I work just off of the campus where he teaches. It's wonderful. Whenever he comes home from work or an errand, I run to the door and say, "My husband's home!" Then I patiently wait for him to un-bundle and kiss me. He is very affectionate and I love that I can cheer him up even after a hard day.
We are traveling separately this holiday season. He has a month off but I could only get a few days. So, to save money he took the train early and won't return until after the new year while I am flying home Christmas Eve and returning a couple days later. It means 5 alone days on this side of Christmas and 10 on the other side. We'll even miss spending New Year's Eve together.
That's a funny story, too. He and I have been friends since we were 10. We met in Sunday School- best place to find guys, let me tell you! We became really close when he moved to Colorado for grad school. Once again, long distance enriched our friendship because we began to email weekly. My husband is not one for chit chat and often has a hard time with "in person" conversations unless they are subject driven. But he thrives online. He can write an email or even a letter like no one else. His emails were so funny that I used to print them out and read them to my best friend so we could both get a laugh.
Sometime during our college years, we began a tradition of getting together every New Year's Eve in the afternoon (so... New Year's pre-Eve) for lunch or a movie. We called them our New Year's Eve day dates. We had 7 of them in 8 years (one year I was dating someone who didn't want me to go. Understandably so.). They were fun and often flirty. We have only had one since and that was last year. All through our actual dating relationship, we spent New Year's Eve in separate cities. That will be true this year as well.
I was single until I was 35, so I know how to be alone. But I also appreciate my husband all the more because of all that single time. I hoping to spend many, many New Year's Eves with him... and hopefully, travel with him in future.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Happy Thanksgiving!
My husband and I just spent our first Thanksgiving in Washington. We made the whole traditional spread with a turkey, two different stuffings, red cabbage (my family veggie) and spinach casserole (his family veggie), as well as mashed potatoes and corn. Also, homemade pumpkin pie, of course. We made it from the pumpkin that we picked at Strawberry Hill in October. We doubled the pumpkin and evaporated milk and made a deep dish pie and a little bread-pan shaped pie on the side. Super yummy!
Today, Black Friday, we slept in, had a leisurely morning and made a quick run to the grocery store for flour so I could make bread (we used all the homemade bread for the stuffing). In the afternoon, I read the book I wrote for NaNoWriMo (see my winner badge?) and edited parts to add to my word count while Ed read his new textbook. He is teaching an Optics class next semester to actual Physics majors!! We took a break from reading to decorate our apartment. We have Ed's train set up in our living room (he inherited it from his grandfather and I had the locomotive fixed for him as a gift last Christmas- this is the first time it has been up in about 20 years) but no tree as we will both be gone part of the holiday season.
I hope your holiday was wonderful, too. Off to have some pumpkin pie!
Today, Black Friday, we slept in, had a leisurely morning and made a quick run to the grocery store for flour so I could make bread (we used all the homemade bread for the stuffing). In the afternoon, I read the book I wrote for NaNoWriMo (see my winner badge?) and edited parts to add to my word count while Ed read his new textbook. He is teaching an Optics class next semester to actual Physics majors!! We took a break from reading to decorate our apartment. We have Ed's train set up in our living room (he inherited it from his grandfather and I had the locomotive fixed for him as a gift last Christmas- this is the first time it has been up in about 20 years) but no tree as we will both be gone part of the holiday season.
I hope your holiday was wonderful, too. Off to have some pumpkin pie!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
God Follower
In the past 17 years, I have moved 14 times- to 5 different states, to Michigan 3 times. I now live in Washington, the furthest from "home" I've lived, and I have no idea where I will be living next year.
In all this, one song by Steven Curtis Chapman keeps coming to mind. No matter what is in store for my life next, I wanna be a
GOD FOLLOWER
My heart is restless as I wander through this jungle
The trees above refuse to let the sunlight through
And somewhere deep inside I hear the whispered longings
That tell me I was made for more than this
A blinding flash of light falls down into the darkness
Slowly I notice strange new markings on the trail
The crimson drops are calling out to me come and follow
"I am the God who made you, let Me show you how to live"
And I cry…
I want to be a God follower
I want to go wherever He leads
I want to be a God follower
I want to walk the trail He’s marked for me
And be a God follower
(More than anything)
And now I journey on with purpose and with passion
Just like a dead man who’s been given breath again
And though this path can still grow dark with tears and sorrow
I know He will never leave me
So with everything I am I will say…
And when I reach God’s place
I will look into His face
And then I’ll look for you
Will I find you there?
Can you say with me…
I want to be a God follower
I want to be a God follower
I want to be a God follower
I want to be a God follower
In all this, one song by Steven Curtis Chapman keeps coming to mind. No matter what is in store for my life next, I wanna be a
GOD FOLLOWER
My heart is restless as I wander through this jungle
The trees above refuse to let the sunlight through
And somewhere deep inside I hear the whispered longings
That tell me I was made for more than this
A blinding flash of light falls down into the darkness
Slowly I notice strange new markings on the trail
The crimson drops are calling out to me come and follow
"I am the God who made you, let Me show you how to live"
And I cry…
I want to be a God follower
I want to go wherever He leads
I want to be a God follower
I want to walk the trail He’s marked for me
And be a God follower
(More than anything)
And now I journey on with purpose and with passion
Just like a dead man who’s been given breath again
And though this path can still grow dark with tears and sorrow
I know He will never leave me
So with everything I am I will say…
And when I reach God’s place
I will look into His face
And then I’ll look for you
Will I find you there?
Can you say with me…
I want to be a God follower
I want to be a God follower
I want to be a God follower
I want to be a God follower
Friday, September 24, 2010
Faithfulness and Time
I've discovered that I am not a very faithful person. I guess I should restate that: I am faithful to people almost to a fault, but I am almost never faithful to projects.
Take this blog, for instance. When I began it, I though, "Great! I have always loved to write and, especially, journal, so this should be great!" And then I post 3 items and ditch it for months.
Now, I do have some excuse. Edward and I, after waiting and waiting (as the last post made quite plain), have moved almost all the way across the country for a one year post at Gonzaga University. We found out about it shortly after the last post. It was a whirlwind, really.
Here's how it went: on Tuesday, I got a letter under my door from the real estate agent who helped our downstairs condo neighbors sell their place which said, essentially, "Hey, heard you might move and I have a few people interested if you want to call me." Wednesday, Ed had a phone interview at GU at the end of which he was told he would hear from them in a week or so. Thursday of the same week, they called him back and wanted him. He had a week to decide, and, of course, he took the entire week and gave a yes that next Thursday. We met with the real estate agent on Wednesday and she posted our place right away- calling us back that night with a request for a showing on Friday. The offer was made Saturday, as we were staying at Ed's folks, ready to leave for Traverse City after Church the next day. During Sunday school, we met the Realtor at the Buck to sign some papers and counter offer. She called us Monday in TC and said the offer was accepted. Whirlwind!
We spend a beautiful week in TC- kayaking and having lots of family (especially Baby) time. Then we began packing. I kept working until the weekend before we moved. There was a lot to do- find a place to live, find a store to transfer to, debate over how to move our stuff, chat with GU about the reimbursement offer, train my replacement at work, spend time with everyone I could in my small amount of spare time. It was exhausting, but good.
We started on our adventure on July 28- Ed's 35th birthday. We drove from Grand Rapids, MI to Madison, WI to spend the first night with out friends there. We went to a wonderful outdoor concert by the Madison symphony on the capital lawn and ate peach pie (Ed's favorite and a tradition of ours) afterward. The next morning we were off to the Badlands- amazing! We camped on the plain and drove through deep fog the next morning on our way to the Black Hills, Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and Custer St. Park. We hiked a 5 1/2 hour hike to the top of Harney Peak and then camped, exhausted again. Next morning we were off to Yellowstone where we were caught in a traffic jam caused by buffalo. I think they knew I had eaten one of their buddies for breakfast! We set up camp in the pitch black- not fun. Next morning it was through the Grand Tetons (yes, I know that is south and GU is north, stay with me), turned in Jackson and drove through Idaho, some of Montana and back into Idaho to spend the night in a hotel in Coeur D'Alene. Then we actually got showers! Let me tell you the surprising beauty of north Idaho! Next day we drove to our new home in Spokane, WA.
So, my summer was a little crazy- but I really have little excuse for neglecting this for so long. But then again, knowing me, I can't really promise to write on a regular basis now, either. First of all, you never know what will happen next. Even though the position here is a year, even that is not a guarantee of tomorrow. The future is totally unknown to everyone... and sometimes that is a really good thing.
I am currently reading "Choosing to SEE" by Mary Beth Chapman. It is written very honestly by a woman who lost her 5 year old daughter in 2008. I have been a fan of her husband's work since 1989 but haven't paid much attention to what is going on in Christian music or much of pop culture for the past few years. When I read the summary of her book on an ad, I was shocked and had to Google the event immediately. I cried over the story and began praying for their family. My husband prayed for them that night (we have a ritual of praying in bed just before we go to sleep- actually, just before he rolls over and I demand, "Where's my kiss?" and then we go to sleep). He is such a wonderful man and knew that even though we heard about the situation over 2 years after the fact, the family still needed prayer- would for a long time. But the point is, this book reminds me how much we don't know about our own future, and how that can be a blessing. Even not knowing about good things is a blessing- that way they are a pleasant surprise.
Coming to Spokane has been a little heartbreaking. Hm, I feel almost foolish using that term when I have just been talking about a truly heartbreaking event in another family's life. But heartbreak comes in different forms. Our heartbreak is that of lost community. Not that we have lost the love and prayers of our family and friends, but that we are isolated by distance. I know that the world is a lot "smaller" now than it was in pioneer days (and I can't imagine how homesick they felt), but building a new community takes time and effort at a time when we feel lonely and weak. I write a lot of letters and, so far, my most faithful correspondent has been my youngest sister. Granted, of all my friends, she has the most time on her hands, but it is so wonderful that she spends some of it on me. I miss everyone back home and, while we have joined a church and keep pretty busy, we wish for visits and more communication from those who are closest to us.
But that only reminds me of my own unfaithfulness to projects. One of my projects was to join a book club and a crafting club and to go to small group at church- none of which I have done. People constantly praise me for being so good at making friends, but it is feeling harder this time. Not that the people here aren't nice! Let me tell you all that Spokane is one of the friendliest places I have ever been! But the fact that we will most likely only be here a year and the fact that I am now supporting a husband emotionally, makes it a little harder (not that I am blaming him at all! This is one of the best jobs I have ever had, being his wife and support, and I would not trade it for the world!). I know we will get through and that God has been holding us the whole time- and He made the move the smoothest I have ever had! I would pray that he would make me more faithful- of course, if I had to choose between people and projects, I choose people every time.
Take this blog, for instance. When I began it, I though, "Great! I have always loved to write and, especially, journal, so this should be great!" And then I post 3 items and ditch it for months.
Now, I do have some excuse. Edward and I, after waiting and waiting (as the last post made quite plain), have moved almost all the way across the country for a one year post at Gonzaga University. We found out about it shortly after the last post. It was a whirlwind, really.
Here's how it went: on Tuesday, I got a letter under my door from the real estate agent who helped our downstairs condo neighbors sell their place which said, essentially, "Hey, heard you might move and I have a few people interested if you want to call me." Wednesday, Ed had a phone interview at GU at the end of which he was told he would hear from them in a week or so. Thursday of the same week, they called him back and wanted him. He had a week to decide, and, of course, he took the entire week and gave a yes that next Thursday. We met with the real estate agent on Wednesday and she posted our place right away- calling us back that night with a request for a showing on Friday. The offer was made Saturday, as we were staying at Ed's folks, ready to leave for Traverse City after Church the next day. During Sunday school, we met the Realtor at the Buck to sign some papers and counter offer. She called us Monday in TC and said the offer was accepted. Whirlwind!
We spend a beautiful week in TC- kayaking and having lots of family (especially Baby) time. Then we began packing. I kept working until the weekend before we moved. There was a lot to do- find a place to live, find a store to transfer to, debate over how to move our stuff, chat with GU about the reimbursement offer, train my replacement at work, spend time with everyone I could in my small amount of spare time. It was exhausting, but good.
We started on our adventure on July 28- Ed's 35th birthday. We drove from Grand Rapids, MI to Madison, WI to spend the first night with out friends there. We went to a wonderful outdoor concert by the Madison symphony on the capital lawn and ate peach pie (Ed's favorite and a tradition of ours) afterward. The next morning we were off to the Badlands- amazing! We camped on the plain and drove through deep fog the next morning on our way to the Black Hills, Mt. Rushmore, Crazy Horse, and Custer St. Park. We hiked a 5 1/2 hour hike to the top of Harney Peak and then camped, exhausted again. Next morning we were off to Yellowstone where we were caught in a traffic jam caused by buffalo. I think they knew I had eaten one of their buddies for breakfast! We set up camp in the pitch black- not fun. Next morning it was through the Grand Tetons (yes, I know that is south and GU is north, stay with me), turned in Jackson and drove through Idaho, some of Montana and back into Idaho to spend the night in a hotel in Coeur D'Alene. Then we actually got showers! Let me tell you the surprising beauty of north Idaho! Next day we drove to our new home in Spokane, WA.
So, my summer was a little crazy- but I really have little excuse for neglecting this for so long. But then again, knowing me, I can't really promise to write on a regular basis now, either. First of all, you never know what will happen next. Even though the position here is a year, even that is not a guarantee of tomorrow. The future is totally unknown to everyone... and sometimes that is a really good thing.
I am currently reading "Choosing to SEE" by Mary Beth Chapman. It is written very honestly by a woman who lost her 5 year old daughter in 2008. I have been a fan of her husband's work since 1989 but haven't paid much attention to what is going on in Christian music or much of pop culture for the past few years. When I read the summary of her book on an ad, I was shocked and had to Google the event immediately. I cried over the story and began praying for their family. My husband prayed for them that night (we have a ritual of praying in bed just before we go to sleep- actually, just before he rolls over and I demand, "Where's my kiss?" and then we go to sleep). He is such a wonderful man and knew that even though we heard about the situation over 2 years after the fact, the family still needed prayer- would for a long time. But the point is, this book reminds me how much we don't know about our own future, and how that can be a blessing. Even not knowing about good things is a blessing- that way they are a pleasant surprise.
Coming to Spokane has been a little heartbreaking. Hm, I feel almost foolish using that term when I have just been talking about a truly heartbreaking event in another family's life. But heartbreak comes in different forms. Our heartbreak is that of lost community. Not that we have lost the love and prayers of our family and friends, but that we are isolated by distance. I know that the world is a lot "smaller" now than it was in pioneer days (and I can't imagine how homesick they felt), but building a new community takes time and effort at a time when we feel lonely and weak. I write a lot of letters and, so far, my most faithful correspondent has been my youngest sister. Granted, of all my friends, she has the most time on her hands, but it is so wonderful that she spends some of it on me. I miss everyone back home and, while we have joined a church and keep pretty busy, we wish for visits and more communication from those who are closest to us.
But that only reminds me of my own unfaithfulness to projects. One of my projects was to join a book club and a crafting club and to go to small group at church- none of which I have done. People constantly praise me for being so good at making friends, but it is feeling harder this time. Not that the people here aren't nice! Let me tell you all that Spokane is one of the friendliest places I have ever been! But the fact that we will most likely only be here a year and the fact that I am now supporting a husband emotionally, makes it a little harder (not that I am blaming him at all! This is one of the best jobs I have ever had, being his wife and support, and I would not trade it for the world!). I know we will get through and that God has been holding us the whole time- and He made the move the smoothest I have ever had! I would pray that he would make me more faithful- of course, if I had to choose between people and projects, I choose people every time.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Waiting, Waiting and more Waiting
18 months ago, I was waiting for something. While I waited, I distracted myself from the wait by learning to make and preserve jam! From the time I bought the equipment (which was not expensive) to Christmas (3 months), I had canned over 100 jars of jam! I gave some of is away as gifts and stored the rest for the future.
A year ago, I was waiting for my wedding. I distracted myself with a very elaborate cross stitch project. It was 2 ft by 9 inches and portrayed a sorceress in a flowing gown. I gave it to my sister last Christmas. I also canned some more and packed up 13 years of collected junk to move from IL to MI.
Now, I am waiting again. My husband is a physics professor and has been applying for tenure track positions for the past 6 months. He has had some interviews, but we have not gotten a positive response from anyone yet. We are waiting on just one more school to decide for or against us. He also has some applications out for non-tenure positions. We wait and wait and wait for responses so that we can start to plan our future a little. We want a house and a hobby farm, but we can't even think of getting them until we know where we are going to be living in a year. While we wait, I have been distracting myself again. This time I have several little projects: experimenting with recipes for different breads, desserts and even butter! Crocheting and sewing; reading 5 or 6 books at a time as well as listening to audio books; working almost full time as a barista; and my new addiction, Farm Town!
But, in spite of all the distracting, I would really like to stop waiting. I would like to stop making plans and start experiencing them. Not that I have been idle, as you see, but I feel like I am filling time rather than fulfilling it.
The good news is that responses will come and plans will eventually move forward. The better news is that, while our whole life is really a type of waiting, something ultimately fulfilling is coming after all the waiting here. For some, anyway. *sigh* . For some.
A year ago, I was waiting for my wedding. I distracted myself with a very elaborate cross stitch project. It was 2 ft by 9 inches and portrayed a sorceress in a flowing gown. I gave it to my sister last Christmas. I also canned some more and packed up 13 years of collected junk to move from IL to MI.
Now, I am waiting again. My husband is a physics professor and has been applying for tenure track positions for the past 6 months. He has had some interviews, but we have not gotten a positive response from anyone yet. We are waiting on just one more school to decide for or against us. He also has some applications out for non-tenure positions. We wait and wait and wait for responses so that we can start to plan our future a little. We want a house and a hobby farm, but we can't even think of getting them until we know where we are going to be living in a year. While we wait, I have been distracting myself again. This time I have several little projects: experimenting with recipes for different breads, desserts and even butter! Crocheting and sewing; reading 5 or 6 books at a time as well as listening to audio books; working almost full time as a barista; and my new addiction, Farm Town!
But, in spite of all the distracting, I would really like to stop waiting. I would like to stop making plans and start experiencing them. Not that I have been idle, as you see, but I feel like I am filling time rather than fulfilling it.
The good news is that responses will come and plans will eventually move forward. The better news is that, while our whole life is really a type of waiting, something ultimately fulfilling is coming after all the waiting here. For some, anyway. *sigh* . For some.
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