Maternity

So, I had a pregnancy dream last night. I'm 18 weeks along today and this was my first real maternity dream, although it didn't actually have a baby in it.

I was walking through a department store of some kind. It had really high ceilings like a Bed, Bath and Beyond, with stuff on the walls ranging significantly higher than my 5'3" would allow me to reach. I went first to what I thought was a wall of car seats, but when I got close up they were really booster seats and washing tubs. I was approached by a sales person, but moved on toward the maternity clothes section.

I have never been a big clothes shopper; partly because I hated my body for a very long time and wanted to hide it in bulky wear, not knowing that those things just made me look bigger and less shapely than I actually am. I was also never into dresses and skirts until I reached my mid twenties and found that they were so very comfortable! Now, I dress cute and comfy and for my body type (although, I will admit that some of my skirts should be shorter to underplay my lack of height) and kind of like it, but still don't like shopping that much.

When I reached the maternity clothes in my dream, I walked about 2/3 of the way down the first row and saw the cutest shirt ever! It was a salmon-ish floral-ish lacy pattern with a scoop neck, ruching on the sides and a slight elastic at the bottom (for under the belly). I picked a large off the rack (which was notated "MNLG") and went looking for some slacks, as I need some for work. As I was walking down the rows, I took the shirt off the hanger and laid it on top of another rack of clothes. I think I was trying to rearrange things in my arms. When I turned around to pick it up, the shirt was gone. Not only that, but the entire display of those shirts was no longer in the place I though it was!

I spend the entire rest of my dream, which seemed very long, looking for this shirt. I asked for help from a couple staff members of the store and they tried to find the display, but couldn't. I walked through other departments and people asked me questions about sheet and automobile parts because they thought I worked there. I walked through changing rooms where women were modeling their maternity outfits for their entire family and friends, like you might with a wedding dress or if you are on a TLC show. I also passed the same woman several times as she shopped for maternity clothes. She wanted to buy two years worth because she planned to have another baby right away. The staff person helping her told her not to get ahead of herself because styles change and she was thinking that the woman might not have a second child. That woman had a room full of clothes!!! I mean, the size of my bedroom completely stuffed with hanging clothes. I thought maybe she took my shirt and wouldn't need it with all the other stuff she was trying on.

I never found the shirt.

This is one of a weeks worth of anxiety dreams I have had this week. My mother-in-law commented on facebook that I am so confident when awake that maybe my dreams release my underlying apprehensions. I'm not sure. Most of my anxiety dreams are centered on work, which is funny because I have worked at the same company for 13 years, have changed stores as many times, have worked in 4 states, and know my job so well I can do it on auto pilot. I almost never feel nervous at work. I have lost my passion for my job over the past two years as I look forward to soon quitting and being a full time wife/mother, but I don't feel anxious. Yet, I have many, many dreams about work and being out of control.

This dream was kind of pleasant, even if it was full of an unsuccessful search. I enjoyed looking at the women and the clothes and even interacting with the people who thought I worked at the store. I enjoyed the search, although it came up empty. But I guess I would still constitute this as an anxiety dream. Maybe because I have to buy some maternity pants in real life.