Dad

 

I lost my dad on December 9, 2022. 

This is my excuse for not writing after December 5, and as excuses go, it's a pretty good one. 

Like most children, I had a complicated relationship with my father, but this post isn't all encompassing. This is just a memorial to a man that I loved. 

My dad was born and raised in Grand Rapids, Michigan. He also died there. He'd been to several other states during his life- I'm not sure how many- but he never lived anywhere else and, as far as I know, he has never been overseas. 

Like me, he was the eldest child in his family. He had one sister and one brother, 4 and 9 years younger than he, respectively. 

My dad went to public school. He attended junior college for a bit and Grand Rapids School of Bible and Music. 

He married my mom at age 20.

They were married for 53 years.

My dad and mom worked most of their lives. My dad owned his own business with a partner for most of my young life. Eventually, the partner retired and my father switched the business form a body shop to a wood finishing shop. He always did physical labor and always seemed so strong to me. 

I remember the last time he picked me up. I was 15 and had turned my ankle while roller skating. He came into the skating rink and lifted me up- all 150 lb of me (which I thought was HUGE) and carried me to the car. I was in awe.

That's me!

For the last 10 plus years of his life, my dad was paralyzed from the waist down. He was hit by a car at Christmas time in 2007 and woke up one morning a few days later unable to walk. He had had back surgery a few years before and bone spurs were growing in toward his spinal cord. They were only discovered because the accident forced them up against the cord and pinched it, causing paralysis. He was in the hospital for months- through the Friday before Mother's Day- and with physical therapy, left the hospital with a walker. But despite attempts to remove the spurs, eventually they pinched off his spinal cord and he lost his lower half. 

My dad was always an extrovert, was very kind to strangers, was generous to a fault, and was usually upbeat. Most people who ever met him got to hear him laugh and almost all remember him fondly. 

We had a memorial service for my dad the week between Christmas and New Year's. It was small (just family and almost-family) and was held in my mother's living room. My husband said a few words, which you can watch here. 

If you knew my dad, I'd love to hear things you remember: stories or impressions, things he would say or whatever you can think of. 

I already miss him. But he loved Jesus, so I'll get to see him again... eventually.